


A series of letters

by tvshowfan2604



Category: Anne with an E (TV)
Genre: Apologies, F/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-14
Updated: 2019-12-19
Packaged: 2021-02-25 23:15:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,940
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21793612
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tvshowfan2604/pseuds/tvshowfan2604
Summary: A few days after Jerry moved to Green Gables a letter arrived.Second part is Jerry`s answer
Relationships: Diana Barry/Jerry Baynard
Comments: 6
Kudos: 65





	1. Chapter 1

**A few days after Jerry moved to Green Gables he got a letter. There was no return address.**

Dear Jerry,

Desolè. I am sorry. So so sorry.

I know that you probably do not want to hear from me and I understand that. But I needed to write this letter. I know it is the cowards way, not coming to talk to you, but writing instead. I know this and still I could not change it. I am afraid of seeing you.

This letter is to apologize. I never wanted to make you feel common. I never wanted you to think that what we had was physical, a distraction, something to pass the time. None of these things are true and yet – I said them and I made you feel them.

For that I am deeply sorry!

You are an amazing person. Courageous, caring, clever, funny, and also very good looking. Never doubt these things and please, never change!

I must admit when you first flirted with me I was flattered but did not think about it any longer. But spending time with you made me want to do it more. The evening at your house was totally different from everything I ever experienced. It was fun and freeing.

When you came to walk me home a few days later I still connected this feeling with you. But then I got to know you more and you are so much more than this experience. So please understand that it may have started as a distraction from my boring and reglemented life, but it did not stay that way.

Soon I longed for your presence, even cut meetings with Anne short. I was thinking about you an awful lot when I was at home. I liked having your book, having this little dog figurine because it showed that it was not just my imagination. I never had Anne’s imagination, could build whole worlds in my head, but deep down I often wondered if I was dreaming you and our secret courtship.

And because I needed the little reminders I wanted to make you something to help you think of me. A little part of me was also thinking that with the handkerchief you could still think of me when I was shipped away to Paris. Despite our lovely time together there was also always this dark cloud hanging over me. With Anne I had made a pact, we would only talk about fun topics, would make the last of my time here as nice as possible. And I was doing the same with you, only I forgot to tell you.

Well, I wanted to be honest in this letter, so no. I did not forget to tell you. I just did not mention it out of fear that we would stop our secret affair even earlier than necessary. I needed these moments. To be really honest, it was also a part rebellion. I was thinking at least I can still decide for whom I have feelings, who will get to have my heart.

And then came the turning point. Thinking back, I know where I did you wrong. I so very much wish to go back and change it. I never ever intended to make you feel bad. You must believe me!

We were talking about the book and you did not understand my point. At first I was frustrated and I know I said something awful. My whole life people only saw me as beautiful without a personality. I was like a figurine. And to call you that is unforgivable! Please know, that I feel more than bad about it.

And also understand that it did not change any of my feelings for you! It is important to me that you know that. I did so much wrong in this situation but you were still so great. And even if you were insulted you did not show it, you still kissed me. I truly dream of your kisses. Still do!

In this moment – talking about books – I realized probably for the first time with clarity that we never stood a chance. My feelings, your feelings, would never be enough to make my parents forget where you are coming from. If they were strict before, they would marry me off faster than I could think, when they would only suspect what we were doing.

You as a person did never stand a chance because you came from the wrong social background. All my dreaming of keeping this secret, maybe even having some kind of pen pal relationship to Paris….It could never happen, because then I would be doomed to marry the first person my parents could find.

I know you can not understand my fear of this happening. You probably don’t know these people that would be considered. My best hope in life was always that my parents would find someone I could live with. Someone who as a person was – even if not a kindred spirit – at least someone I could have a friendship with. This would not be a possibility if I had to be married off as fast as they could.

Shortly after this realization I had the fight with Anne. I know that she would never betray me and tell my parents about you, but I panicked. So I did what I was taught. Conceil, never feel. People can never know how I feel. Telling you why I broke our courtship off would have been too much. You had already seen too much of my feelings.

I am not proud of this behaviour. I wish I had told you. But for me it was easier to hide behind my upbringing, everything I had learned. I also had to get rid of these wonderful reminders. Once again, I am so sorry for the way I did that.

Believe me, when I came home, I was in tears. I was not only mourning our relationship but also awfully ashamed of myself. I still am. That is the reason why I am writing the letter. I cannot face you.

I am not sure if you have heard that I am not in finishing school in Paris but in Queen`s College. I got a little chance of having influence on my future. This is something I never imagined and frankly, that I have not thought about all that much before. Before I met Anne. Before I met you.

This chance also means that i am reliable for all my faults, my decisions. I can not hide behind my parents anymore. And my biggest regret, my gravest mistake, was the way I treated you. Not that we had a relationship. Never belive that, but only the way it ended.

Dear Jerry, I do not know if you are still reading this. I do not know what you think of me now. You do not have to forgive me. I myself will never forgive me for my behaviour. But I hope this letter helps to explain everything and gives us the chance of a proper ending, closure.

My heart will always have a place for you.

Yours sincerly Diana


	2. Letter to Diana

It took Jerry a few day to get his thoughts together after Diana`s letter. He had felt a lot of emotions and needed some time to make sense of them all. Then he contemplated for another few days if the letter needed an answer and what his answer would be. But two weeks later Jerry had an fully formulated letter for Diana in front of him. Now his only problem was how to get the letter to Diana. She had not left a return address. So Jerry had to work with these circumstances. He wrote to Anne and put the sealed letter in with it. 

“Dear Anne, 

How are you? Is the life at Queen`s College as exciting as you dreamed? I can`t quite imagine you being restricted to city life. Do you dance through the streets like you did the forrest? 

I have a favour to ask of you. There is a letter für Diana with your letter. Could you please make sure she gets it? She wrote to me and did not give a return address, but her letter needed an answer. I needed to tell her my thoughts on the subject. 

Cordialement Jerry 

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------ 

Anne was more than curious when she went to Diana with Jerrys letter. She had not known that her bossom friend had once again searched for Jerrys presence in her life, even if it had only been a letter. Anne wasn`t sure if she liked that these two were in contact again. Jerry had felt bad because of Diana, which Anne had not liked at all. She felt protective of Jerry, which had surprised her. But lo and behold, he hat grown on her through the years. 

When Anne told Diana about the letter she had from Jerry, Diana`s face turned red and her eyes darted to the floor. She could not look at her friend. Anne sighed. “What is this, Diana?”, she asked nervoulsy. She really did not want a repeat of their fight. Diana closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Then she started to explain. 

“Once I was here, settled into this great life, where I could make decisions of my own, I felt a sense of freedom unlike ever before. Well, except for the part where I defied my parents and met with an improper boy. Thinking about this made me realize that I handled the situation quiet badly. So I wrote a letter to Jerry to apologize and explain. I think I owed it to him. And you probably have an answer in your hand. Something I am afraid of. This is why I did not give a return address.” Diana finally looked up, searched the face of her best friend. Anne sighted again. 

“Well, Jerry is clever. He had a quick solution to the problem.”, she answered. Then she finally handed Diana the letter. “I hope, you two can resolve the problems.” After that she left her bossom friend alone. She was extremely curious but recognized that this was something private. However, she hoped dearly, that Diana would tell her all about it, once they had time. 

Diana herself was a nervous wreck, holding the letter like someone might hold an explosive. She had intentionally not included her address because she was afraid what Jerry had to say. She had never seen or heard of him being unkind, but that did not help her calm down now. With an heavy sigh, she sat down on her bed and opened the letter. 

Chère Diana, 

I forgive you! I will take longer to forget, but I have forgiven you. 

Thank you for explaining your thoughts and actions to me. 

Realistic I knew we were not made to last but I had hoped there was at least a little chance. Or we could find an end that was not as abrupt. I was young and naive and you were rich, beautiful and chamante. This will always end in heartbreak, did my mother explain. 

(Don`t worry. She does not know anything, she guessed my feelings when I was sad.) 

To be proper (I know how much this means to you) I, too, have to apologize. My talking to Anne had bitter results. I did not know that you had not told her, but I should not have talked about it. 

Desole. 

I wish you all the best and hopefully the freedom you wanted so much. 

Amicalemente Jerry


End file.
